guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
I just found a samari sword in the couch. I'm about to take like 5 shots and pretend to be captain jack sparrow
I told my mom Jesus would want me to snort drugs on his birthday
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
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