Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
He returned my car yesterday. Found a duffel bag with beef jerky, condoms, and a handgun this morning. Slightly concerned
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
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