I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
So I'm eating my burger minding my own business, when the guy next to me starts up a conversation. Seemed normal at first, stocks, bonds, etc...then he said...and I quote "I can push a bowling-ball up a flight of stairs with my tongue." As I awkwardly laughed he broke out "I bet you I could bite the head off of a rabbit."
One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
Kids I used to babysit are now fuckable members of my social media periphery.. Getting old sucks
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
Randomize
