this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
I've been asked to reupholster their slam-couch so I found some off-cuts of medical-grade, hermetically sealed fabric. She'll be slammed upon for generations to come.
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
Randomize
