how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
im proctoring the SATs right now and im still drunk from last night. i really wanna tell these kids that this fucking test doest mean shit and they will just be constantly drunk once in college.
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
There is a goat eating lettuce out of our fridge. Do you wanna grab a bloody mary?
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
that may or may not have been my penis.
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