Just made out with a pet sitter. His biz card says "even hamsters". Lowest point in my life.
thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
Randomize
