I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
you told the cab driver to stop being such a pussy because he wouldn't let you shotgun a beer in the backseat
We're the only two others left at work. My internal monologue is going: TAKE ME. TAKE ME NOWW. ON THE COUNTER. IN FRONT OF THE MANAGER. JUST TAKE MEEE
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
Help me. My dealer just asked me to have a child with him. Sat me down for a heart to heart "he's almost 40 and losing his shit cause he's single and wants babies" talk. How the fuck am I supposed to feel about this????
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
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