I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
You ruined the universe
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
Randomize
