Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
I know it basically makes me the worst feminist ever, but I don't want to kill my own spiders. And I will pay my personal spider hit man with sammiches and unlimited , uninhibited access to my vagina.
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
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