I bought a boat. Want to have sex on The Angry Clam? That's what I named it.
I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
Just discovered evidence of drunken eBay bid. Drunk Mike did pretty good -- I'm getting a new sleeping bag.
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
Cover for me. Stopped at Chris’ for a quickie. Broke a high heel and there’s jizz all over my black dress. Fuck pornstars for making workday sex look easy
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