i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
my dad just told me he found me on the kitchen floor saturday morning with a microwave dinner on top of me, fork still in hand. priceless
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
You know something is wrong with your life when your mom is at the bar getting free tequila shots and you aren't
Randomize
