dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
Need toilet paper. Napkins suck. Slowly running out of those two and the bleeding hasn't stopped. Your cat is next
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
Just say you're the husband at the front desk to get in. She's in room 15 at the ER.
what? who is this?
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
You kicked my dad IN THE NUTS right when he walked in.
Sorry, man. Thought he was a cop.
Randomize
