so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
Just face planted the stairs. Apparently Santa brought an extra step while I was at the bar... Fucking dick
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
maybe you met your husband and you just don't know it yet
and other hilarious jokes you can tell yourself
and eventually we just all took our pants off
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
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