Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
Just got a message on OkCupid from a 20-year-old who has "Momma's Boy" tattoed across his chest and thinks the earth is bigger than the sun.
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
We need a shit load of segways right now
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
