I faked an abortion last night.
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
If you try to operate on me with a Bic pen and vodka, I'm never talking to you again
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
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