Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
I want to have your abortion
I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
Next person that gets my dog drunk is paying to have my carpet cleaned. I am tired of getting up to pee and stepping in dog barf.
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
I legitimately had a champagne shower last night at a rave. I was also carrying around two bananas in my pockets like guns. Drunk doesn't even. Begin to explain My night.
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
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