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Rock
Scissors
Fuck
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
Ok. In one sink is a hairdrier. Still plugged in. The other is filled with broken glass. What do I do?!
Nvm. Bloody hand trumps dead. Also, where is gauze.
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
I drunkenly said, "That's my future father-in-law!" And everyone made an uncomfortable / disgusted face... including the aforementioined future father-in-law. Maybe I should start dating other people.
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
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