do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
I don't think brook has ever known best
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
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