just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
Posting happy birthday to my grandpa on Facebook.... Then realizing my profile pic is me dressed as a slutty cop when he used to be a police officer.
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
Randomize
