bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
I'm sorry I peed on the bushes at your law firm. Is there anyway you could defend me for the ticket I'm about to get?
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
is that a dick in a sweater?
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
Randomize
