Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
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