im in a kiddie pool, high, with a keg in arms reach. If i had a sandwich and a blowjob this would be the best day ever
I just followed up on a noise complaint...only to find 2 girls in bikinis covered in jello with beer cans everywhere. I couldn't bring myself to bust that party.
I want to be a cop.
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
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