Three words: puerto rican gang bang
found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
Wife passed out. Doing shots with the hot bartender... Don't tell me I don't know how to celebrate a 1yr anniversary
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
Is 9am too early to be eating a mozzarella stick I found in my purse? Yeah didnt think so. The fact that it tastes like vomit is concerning but not importanta.
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
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