no, he came in my armpit
who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
do you have any idea why i woke up naked spooning my toaster?
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
Randomize
