You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
She just started grabbing all the hospital's rubber gloves and face masks and shoving them in her purse, saying, "My tax money paid for these!"
Woke up with my face in a bowl of cereal. This is tequila's way of saying fuck you.
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
I just found a To Do list on the table, written by me last night, that just says "1. Go downstairs. 2. Get Pickles. 3. Laptop"
She won't let me meet her hot new boy toy just because she thinks it'll lead to us having a threesome. It's not fair. I thought we were friends...
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