After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
Leave it to me to pull up my boyfriend’s grandfather’s obituary just to find out the name of his sister.
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
Talk shit all you want but with my new knife sharpener I have a lethal razor sharp pizza cutter. Fuck with me Mario I dare you!
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