she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
You had me at "mimosas" several texts ago.
It's that time of night again when I start to think I'm really funny, but no one else is as drunk as I am so they all start avoiding me.
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
Randomize
