I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
Randomize
