Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
My natural self cock block skills kicked in last night. I could've got on like 2 chicks but i ended up throwing up all over my van instead.
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
You know you were really drunk last night when you woke up and had someone else's jacket with their car keys and medical marijuana that you wore home from the bar and no sign of your actual jacket.
You left your Xanax bottle in my car. Why is the label all smudged?
I spilled wine on it.
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
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