i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
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