i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
I walked into the bathroom and the toilet was on fire... I stood there for like a minute trying to decide whether I should put it out or get my camera.
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
I’m inviting a few of my favorite manwhores to a pool party. Bring booze and wear your banana hammock so Amy can see what I’m always talking about
Randomize
