im on my way to getting "i just graduated college with no money, no job, and no plan" drunk
Hotel room at 3 am. She's 42. Stockings and heels. All because I opened with a joke about cougar hunting. We'll high-five later.
fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
There needs to be a newsfeed for phones... A list of all my drunken calls, texts, BBMs, new contacts, pictures sent AND received, all in chronological order.
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
Randomize
