i woke up this morning in my bathroom,naked, with my boxers around my face and puke and shit on the floor and wondering why i didn't have a toenail on my one big toe.
compared to you, a hobo is quite responsible.
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
Randomize