im drinking this country out of the recession.
i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
Wake up. Finish House of Cards. Put on pants.
Accurate.
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
I feel like too many of my sentences start of with "Hey, fuckface!"
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
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