Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
I was just lying down, dumping goldfish into my mouth and they like all came out I thought I was going to choke and die and people would be like damn that's so sad, she died laying in bed stuffing her face and reading kanye wests twitter, damn.
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
Randomize
