Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
I knew you were gonna be a good wingman when the words "dibs on the chunky one" came out of your mouth.
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
We need a shit load of segways right now
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
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