She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
What kind of flower means "I want to have unprotected sex with you, preferably from behind?" because thats the message I'd really like to send on Valentines Day
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
I will go to bed dreaming of sexy Olympians carting me on a throne to the beach where they feed me pizza and champaign and massage my head/wash it like the hair dresser does.
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
Just a heads up that Dad just brought home a new Porsche and the sales girl he bought it from.
Umm okay. What are they doing?
They’re in the hot tub
Can I get divorced when I grow up?
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
Randomize
