You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
He was putting purell on my boobs saying "they need to be clean for later." He hadn't had a drink all night
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
Right now I'm standing in front of my fridge, drinking wine out of the bottle and eating cold steak with my hands. I am THE BEST at being single.
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
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