Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
WHY DID HE INTRODUCE ME TO HIS MOM? CAN'T HE JUST HIDE ME LIKE EVERYONE ELSE I'VE EVER DATED?@!
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
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