Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
Please stop leaving drunk voicemails with your new black/Irish accent.
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
Ok fine, yes she's pregnant. But you're ignoring the most important part. HER BOOBS GOT BIGGER. That doesn't happen every day, and I owe it to myself to enjoy those boobs before the belly catches up to them!
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
Randomize
