Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
Randomize