He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
Meanwhile I am sitting on the couch with a 32 ounce rum and coke trying to decide if I'm too drunk to go get french fries.
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
Randomize
