Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
Just woke up with 34 slim-jims in my pocket. Too afraid to check the others.
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
Randomize
