He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
your idea of a balenced meal is a microwave frozen burrito, a cup of ramen noodles, and a can of budlight. honestly tell me how your resolution is to lose weight,
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
I settled on "Merry Christmas! Btw you may have chlamydia". I thought a nice holiday greeting would soften the blow
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
Randomize
