Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
Seriously, come get him. He's not even a person anymore. He's a loud, drunk, cock-blocking wrecking ball.
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
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