think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
Out of ice. Vodka+club soda+cut up lime popscicle=I'm an alcoholic genius.
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
Yeah to go race car driving with a 54 yr old gastroenterologist. I really wish you'd come to have that drink with me Wednesday
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
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