I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
So instead of asking me for my number, he asked for my dad's because he wanted to "thank the man that helped create those tits."
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
There was one thing about my NYC trip I forgot to tell you: I took a dump in Trump Tower
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
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