but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
I woke up in a cornfield to shouting, a bottle of Jim Beam, and a bunch of mc muffins. If this doesn't scream Illinois, idk what does.
I just woke up in his bed.. in a cardboard castle, with a Justin Bieber poster on the ceiling staring down at me, cuddling with 4 empty PBR cans. I win.
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
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