how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
Todays lesson: Chew your food better when your drunk. I almost choked throwing up this morning.
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
He said he was trying to live vicariously through me. I didn't have the heart to tell him that meant he was vicariously fucking his best friend.
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
Found her with a stray dog now called champagne, crying about how she feels a mom now. Had to take her home. The dog too.
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
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