and next time when you feel me up, do it right
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
She said she couldn't find my penis because my arm was in the way. That was my penis
Every man deserves at least one moment like that
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
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