Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
Mistake of the day: loudly discussing my gay hookups on the phone at the dmv in upstate NY... this must be what leprosy feels like
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
There was this blissful moment of peace and quiet... then you ran past our window with a lit firecracker in hand going, "SHIT. SHIT. SHIT!"
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
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