; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
I just had to pull over at a starbucks to throw up in the bathroom. They really should not have let me be a lawyer.
i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
I had to rename my dildo. I met a little kid who named his teddy bear the same name. It just felt wrong.
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
