Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
Enjoy your early 30’s! You’re still young enough to catch a twenty something that can fuck 4 times a day, hot enough to date forty year old penises that can last long enough to give you multiple orgasms
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