from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
She even gives head with a lisp.
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
You were telling everyone in the bar that Jess gave you scurvy.
Randomize
