hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
Just realized I've gone to court three different times with papers and a joint roller in my briefcase. #lawyeroftheyear
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
Randomize
