Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
They had a "who can aim further away from the toilet" contest. I'm now washing piss off my ceiling.
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
Nothing says "sober up, you whore" quite like an early morning PAP smear.
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
Randomize
