I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake.
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
you started shaking the frozen steak while screaming "THIS IS CAPITALISM" before rubbing it all over your chest and passing out on your dog
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
My life is pants optional.
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
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